Bow Before Your New Queen

Angelina Jolie has knocked Oprah Winfrey out of the #1 spot on the Forbes Magazine list of the 100 Most Powerful Celebrities. Angie, according to Forbes, made $27 million last year, had the 3rd most web mentions and the 5th most press mentions overall. The formula doesn't take into account how many of those mentions were derisive, but I'm guessing about 90% of the web ones were at least a tad negative. Lots of people hate the bitch. Not as many as hate Kate Gosselin, but still.

And no, don't worry - Kate Gosselin is not on the 100 Most Powerful Celebrities list. Neither is Octomom. The apocalypse is not yet upon us. Next year could be a different story. The whole list is here in case you have nothing better to do than become sick with jealousy and rage. How is Cameron Diaz still 73rd?

Infectious Disease Rips Rampant Virulence

Octomom did an interview with Radar in which she ripped Kate Gosselin aka The Woman Who May Soon Bring Burning-at-the-Stake Back to America. "She needs to stop being so judgmental and stop pulling at straws for attention," Octo slammed, in response to some apparent earlier criticism of her by Kate. "My children are extremely healthy, strong and happy. Don't you have, like, a lot of issues in your life? A lot of marital problems?"

Yeah Octo, she does. Her husband would rather cavort with college girls than have anything to do with her, and two of her kids already have deals for tell-alls. Plus she has shut-ins all over America sharpening garden implements in hopes they'll somehow cross paths with her and get in a few good swipes at her jugular. Things are not going well for her.

In fact, at the rate she's going, Kate will probably soon have her kids taken away by the authorities...something about breaking child labor laws. When that happens, and her husband is sent to prison for canoodling with teenagers, I think they should send the whole +8 brood to Octo's house to live. Then Octo can just apply for statehood.